T-2 weeks, ladies

I pretty much retired the practice of dressing up for Halloween when I moved to Washington three and a half years ago.

It's not that I don't like the holiday or that I take issue with temporarily assuming another identity - usually a sexy one, as many, many articles like to remind us this time of year with a wagging finger and disapproving look - on the contrary, my abstention has more to do with the fact that five out of every seven years, I'm expected to wake up the following morning, fresh-skinned and tight-tummied, ready to face an office full of superiors whose Halloween festivities ended before mine began and were pretty much limited to driving a Subaru full of sticky, hyperactive children from subdivision to subdivision in Gaithersburg or Great Falls.

Put simply, just like I don't enjoy being the "I have a long run tomorrow, that's why I'm drinking a Diet A&W" drag at a happy hour, I also don't really care to be the sole bleary-eyed single girl whose office people walk by on November 1st and think aloud, "Is that (sniff sniff), is that beer I smell at three in the afternoon?".

But beyond craving my beauty sleep and not wanting to fan the flames of any office rumors involving my name and at this point, anything else remotely negative (don't ask), there is also the all-important issue of honing in on just the right costume.

And more than that, the right execution of just the right costume.

In my experience, two weeks is about as close as you should come to committing to a Halloween party without a concrete idea of what it is you want to be and a thorough brainstorming of how this idea will make the jump from a kick-ass abstract to a legitimate, feasible costume. Any fewer than 14 days and you run the very real risk of dressing up as (head hanging in shame) a sexy Army recruiter a month and a half after 9/11.

Costumes, ladies -- pick one today.

And come on, K, you just have to be Scary Spice. Monte's been looking forward to rocking a track suit, high-and-tight ponytail and gold bicuspid for two months now, and even I'm willing to come out on a weekday to make this happen. Pretty pretty please with a T-Bags maxi on top?