To see a bah'um no number of bathroom squats could create...

...tune in tonight to the KimKar ass parade show I've been waiting for what seems like forever to fill up my television screen.

After you've had a sobering 53-minute dose of relationship reality from my recent obsession on HBO, be sure to perk back up with "Keeping Up with the Kardashians," 10:30 EST on the E! Network.