chasing the buzz

I miss
the days
when a small amount of drink
would take me away
blur my vision
make my words stumble
those precious few sips
make my head spin
make the most boring night
a crusade into the unknown
Now, alas, it is but a memory
so much booze
bottles gone
And still i sit here
able to function
I want to be comatose
I hate chasing
the buzz
Drunken sex
has lost its appeal
no more sweaty thrills
in dark rooms
taking my breath away
Now just routine
a daily rutual
open the bottle
pour the lies
drink
repeat
no good
the chase continues
I can never go back
to those days of
youthful zeal
In survival mode now
The booze lubricates
this damning process
Fucking tragedy
this sudden tolerance
But I keep trudging along
How long could this
insanity last?