Famke Janssen

Every reviewer said Famke Jessen was wasted in the recent Liam Neeson vehicle Taken... I agree. This Goldeneye Bond villain shouldn't be playing kept woman divorcee shrew anytime soon.

She is a also known to fanboys as Jean Grey from the X-Men movies.



"1990"



"Anyone who dresses their teenage daughter like that needs a preemptive visit from Pedobear."



"Cup Runneth Over"



"Dry cleaned shirt is a must for an A list star... Good going Liam"



"Final Watercolor"



"Are you ready for some football?"



"IBCF Sexy"



"League of her own"



"I guess it is better than letting Halle Berry drive"




Horror movie or no horror movie I would kill for storage like that in my apartment.



Famke Janssen has a strange reaction to the garbage bag at the end of the rainbow in 100 Feet.





I've heard of thinking of other guys while you are having sex but Famke Janssen seems to have this to a particularly creepy extreme.




Famke Janssen and Joely Richardson enjoy a lesbian kiss in this brief clip from Nip/Tuck. Keeping the television tradition of gorgeous woman kissing each other on basic cable alive.



In this scene from Lord of Illusions somehow actor Kevin J. Connor remembers his lines and just doesn't stare at Famke Janssen's chest.



Apparently among Wolverine's superpowers is the ability to snog Jean while still wearing his jeans in this clip from X-Men 3: The Last Stand.



Did Famke Janssen wear this dress through the entire movie? Well if something works why change it I guess.




Hey it is a cheesy Scott Bakula sex scene from Lord of Illusion. (And I do mean cheesy; it's as if they mixed a Mystery Science Theater Movie with the musical score and camera work from Dead Again.) Anywho... it's a cheesy Scott Bakula sex scene (complete with unconvincing tattoo.) now should I try out an Enterprise joke or go for the more classic Quantum Leap quip (or I could get really obscure and throw in a Murphy Brown reference)















Please click here to go back to the index of Movie Reviews and Actress Profiles



For full size representation click twice on images below (Takes you off site so use back button to return to Naughty Bits)




















.

Eaten Alive... Yummy

Eaten Alive (Mangiati vivi!): 8 out of 10: I seem to have much lower standards for the Italian Cannibal films genre than almost any other. Those darn cheesy exploitative jungle pictures just keep putting a smile on my face.

First, the bad news; similar to the other films in the genre, this movie has many scenes of animal cruelty. Despite the fact Eaten Alive's animal cruelty scenes are cribbed (in the form of stock footage) from other cannibal and Mondo extreme films this simply doesn’t excuse this remarkably unnecessary and disturbing footage. T hat aside this movie simply delivers the goods.

The plot consists of a Jim Jones style cult (complete with King Kong masks!) out in the middle of a jungle surrounded by stone-age cannibals. The cult has been reading up on the Old Testament's naughty parts so we get the old brother in laws duty scene among other surprisingly graphic sex. (Moreover, of course it is the jungle so only the guys wear shirts.).

The acting has some better than expected performances (cannibal film regular Robert Kerman as our prerequisite hero and Ivan Rassimov as the Jim Jones preacher) and everyone else is at least watchable (okay okay Janet Agren looks and acts coked to the gills the entire film and the other (white) female lead is an Italian porn actress but they are both naked for much of the movie and in my book that counts as "watchable"). The over the top cannibal scenes are appropriately gory and graphic but it really is the bizarre twists I enjoyed. The Goldfinger paint job, the death by poison dart attacks at Rockefeller Plaza, sets that would not be out of place in the original Star Trek, and of course the giant stone dildo of death.

With enough footage to cause either an animal rights activist or a feminist a brain aneurism and Cannibal watching regulars a serious case of deja vu Eaten Alive is nevertheless an entertaining fun time.



"National Geographic Outake"


"Meanwhile James Bond is watching a bridge game with binoculars"


" What's Tagalog for the old in and out"


"Hey everyone gets lei-d"


"Janet Argen unimpressed with Carnival Cruise excursion"







Please click here to go back to the index of Movie Reviews and Actress Profiles



For full size representation click twice on images below (Takes you off site so use back button to return to Naughty Bits)

















.