Carice van Houten

Carice van Houten appeared as Tom Cruise's wife in a thankless throwaway role in Valkyrie. I am however going to have to check out her performance in The Black Book (Zwartboek). I am a huge Paul Verhoeven fan and from what I have seen this film will not disappoint.



"Carice van Houten List"



"Carice van Houten Kit Black Book"



"Carice van Houten Aid Black Book"



"Carice van Houten Oregon"



Well this is a clip (from The Black Book) that definitely fits the Naughty bits motif. I can't tell if she is waxing her pubic region or simply dying her pubic hair blond.




Despite the fiasco that was Showgirls, Paul Verhoeven knows how to direct a sex scene. Even one with Nazis. Needless to say the Black book remains on my need to watch list on Netflix.




Quick Scene from The Black Book. I only included it becuse of the brief cameo by Bigfoot. (That was Bigfoot no?)



Is that a gun between your legs or are you just happy to see me?... Oh dear.





I'm going to take a wild guess and say that the dutch underground has found out about Carice van Houten's Nazi diddling ways. On a side note I am having a hard time remembering a film where the main character has her shirt ripped off and her tits exposed in seemingly every scene. Luckily for the audiance Miss van Houten's breasts are more than up for the challenge.




You know a scene like this from De Passievrucht would have livened Valkerie right the fuck up.




That is actress Halina Reijn frolicking nude with Carice van Houten in De Passievrucht.




About two thirds through this clip is a true WTF moment no? It is reminest of something from a bad sex education film or perhaps even a scene from Woody Allen's Everything You Wanted to Know about Sex but Were Afraid to Ask.




Now Carice van Houten is glowing like a Steven Spielberg McGuffin. De Passievrucht is one strange but interesting film.




If the American TV sitcom Friends were any good it would have had more funny scenes like this one.




Painting houses (and directing films) can often be a slog. That said I am sure that working with pot smoking topless woman takes some of the edge of a hard days work.










Please click here to go back to the index of Movie Reviews and Actress Profiles



For full size representation click twice on images below (Takes you off site so use back button to return to Naughty Bits)















.

Gina Gershon.... America's daikon

From Showgirls to Bound, Gina Gershon makes unwatchable films a little more watchable.



"Gina Gershon Spencer"



"Gina Gershon Seneschal"



"Gina Gershon Ireland"



Elizabeth Berkley imitates a mannequin this scene with a hungry Gina Gershon from Showgirls.



Not since that Saturday Night Fever sequel Staying Alive has a stage show created such emotions... I am assuming they were going for laughter and dismay no? I mean I have expected to see Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel in the audience counting their upcoming fortune.




I have seen Bound a couple of times and it has never connected with me. Now after watching that clip above with Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon I guess I'm going to have to see it again until I like it.



Thank God for video because I'm not sure mere words are up to the task of describing how bad the movie Showgirls really is.




More fine acting by Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls... meanwhile our girl Gershon looks like she could be trying out for a more adult Laura Croft.



Why am I reminded of a Love Boat episode or perhaps a Quincy? Is it the set design? The music? or a plot point that wouldn't be out of place in a Brady Bunch episode.




Gina Gershon and Tom Cruise in Cocktail... I'm a little surprised she didn't break poor Tom in half.




Gina Gershon, in a rare clothed role, looking worse than usual walking down the street with Hillary Swank who honestly looks a little better than usual all in the horrible titled film "P.S. I Love You" which is surely about vampire invasions or a plague or something.



Now this is the Gina Gershon we all now and love... cue the Maneater music.



Ah the 1980's when supermodels tilled the soil before those hard working Mexicans invaded our borders and stole their jobs forcing them to move to Vegas and star in badly disguised porn films.



Ah the 1980's when supermodels tilled the soil before those hard working Mexicans invaded our borders and stole their jobs forcing them to move to Vegas and star in badly disguised porn films.





Which is worse Elizabeth Berkley's Acting or Elizabeth Berkley's dancing??? Mystery for the ages I tell you.




Please click here to go back to the index of Movie Reviews and Actress Profiles



For full size representation click twice on images below (Takes you off site so use back button to return to Naughty Bits)








.

Dead Again... Zombie Hitchcock

Dead Again: 5 out of 10: On-screen chemistry is a funny thing. Some couples simply have it. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan make a cute believable couple; William Powell and Myrna Loy in their fourteen films together are in my mind the silvers screens best pairing.

On the other hand, Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson have no onscreen chemistry whatsoever. One might say despite the fact they were married, yet I would argue that too often whatever chemistry causes an off-screen couple to hook-up simply does not translate to the movies. In fact in many cases it seems to create a negative chemistry onscreen. (Think Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.)

Since Dead Again is at its heart a love story, the lack of chemistry is deadly. Branagh and Thompson play two couples. The first, filmed in beautiful black and white, are an angry World War 2 refugee and opera composer and his murdered wife. He goes to the chair for her murder and we flash forward to Branagh as a missing persons detective and Thompson as a crazy mute lady with amnesia. They may be connected to the previous couple and both stories are told alternately throughout the film.

The film itself (in particular the black and white flashbacks) is gorgeous, yet Branagh as a director plays too many tricks for his own good. He cribs so liberally from Hitchcock that the film threatens to turn into High Anxiety 2 rather than an original work.

Without the chemistry between the leads we are left with little more than a hundred film school in-jokes and a strange sci-fi mystical story that we simply have no stake in.











































Please click here to go back to the index of Movie Reviews and Actress Profiles



.

Lip liner and Lisa Rinna hair, Katie? Really?

You can't even begin to know how excited I get when red carpet photos of these two sneak their way onto the Internet.

Say what you will about them, their height difference, Tom's creepy-crawly control issues we are all more than a little guilty of assuming are true and those pesky rumors of how L. Ron Hubbard has them feeding their precious one an elixir of milk, corn syrup and barley water. Like my haircut and my dog, no matter how many sticks and stones detractors like to throw in their direction, some objects of my affection are such done-deals they're immune to criticism.

Katie and Tom, my absolute favorite celebrity couple, are one of my non-negotiables.

But just because outsiders' judgments of Katie's style and Tom's loony-tune-edness don't affect me, doesn't mean I'm unwilling to proffer a few questions of my own when I see what I see here at the Berlin premiere of Tom's new film, Lions for Lambs, last night.

For once, my attention is not drawn to the dress. Though to be perfectly honest, when I look at this silver strapless cocktail frock with sweetheart neckline, crystal-encrusted bodice and pleated flounce skirt, I'm more torn between "meh" and "not my favorite" than I am inclined to hand down a love-it/hate-it verdict.

My interest here isn't in the shoes, which I adore, which deserve a post in their own rite (despite their matchy-matchiness with the dress) and certainly earn her redemption after last week's shalt-not-be-brought-up-again mistake.

No, what most piques my critical interest here has nothing to do with anything Katie's wearing per se, it's more to do with what's going on upstairs, namely with those puffy, lined lips and that flippy, limp, aging-soap-star hairstyle.

Just a few days ago, we had the pleasure of seeing you look like this. And then this. What gives?

More of Katie looking curiously not herself from the neck-up:

And a couple of close-ups of her newly-slimmed calves (from running, perhaps?) and those to die for sparkly slingback, bow-adorned, five-plus-inch platform peep-toes...

Lip liner and Lisa Rinna hair, Katie? Really?

You can't even begin to know how excited I get when red carpet photos of these two sneak their way onto the Internet.

Say what you will about them, their height difference, Tom's creepy-crawly control issues we are all more than a little guilty of assuming are true and those pesky rumors of how L. Ron Hubbard has them feeding their precious one an elixir of milk, corn syrup and barley water. Like my haircut and my dog, no matter how many sticks and stones detractors like to throw in their direction, some objects of my affection are such done-deals they're immune to criticism.

Katie and Tom, my absolute favorite celebrity couple, are one of my non-negotiables.

But just because outsiders' judgments of Katie's style and Tom's loony-tune-edness don't affect me, doesn't mean I'm unwilling to proffer a few questions of my own when I see what I see here at the Berlin premiere of Tom's new film, Lions for Lambs, last night.

For once, my attention is not drawn to the dress. Though to be perfectly honest, when I look at this silver strapless cocktail frock with sweetheart neckline, crystal-encrusted bodice and pleated flounce skirt, I'm more torn between "meh" and "not my favorite" than I am inclined to hand down a love-it/hate-it verdict.

My interest here isn't in the shoes, which I adore, which deserve a post in their own rite (despite their matchy-matchiness with the dress) and certainly earn her redemption after last week's shalt-not-be-brought-up-again mistake.

No, what most piques my critical interest here has nothing to do with anything Katie's wearing per se, it's more to do with what's going on upstairs, namely with those puffy, lined lips and that flippy, limp, aging-soap-star hairstyle.

Just a few days ago, we had the pleasure of seeing you look like this. And then this. What gives?

More of Katie looking curiously not herself from the neck-up:

And a couple of close-ups of her newly-slimmed calves (from running, perhaps?) and those to die for sparkly slingback, bow-adorned, five-plus-inch platform peep-toes...