Delicious mmm..

As i promised you on facebook here are pics with my delicious desert:

Love,Ioana

About me

• Hell`ow

I'm Ioana Yumm i'm 17 yrs and since i was a child i liked the fashion industry and i wanted to be aware of everything that happens in this "world".This blog is based on my personal style, what i love and sometimes i post random pics or what i think it's important for you to know.As time went on " blogging` " became my hobby and now i post almost daily.Some articles are written by me and some are a bit inspired and modified,BUT i always put credits where it's necesary.

• With love,Ioana

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Time to talk about it: My postpartum depression

Postpartum depression. Something I've only mentioned here and there on my blog... and, always said I would talk about more in the future... but, never got around to doing it (maybe avoiding it?).

I started my blog in April 2010 to deal and hopefully find other ladies going through the same thing I was. I know my depression was probably worse because of the birth I had and trying to deal with a newborn all at once: that was really hard for me. 

When Ruari was born I didn't even really understand I had just had a baby and what really happened to me until about a week later. I know it was the morphine and the other VERY strong drugs they had me on, but I was able to be disconnected from everything that first week (and, I was in a hospital with nurses doing everything for me).

Christmas day 2009 was thee day I started noticing something... I know it was the normal Baby Blues from all the hormones surging through me... but, I was crying at EVERY single thing. Mike was worried about me, but I told him the nurses said the baby blues would get better with some time... but, if I was still like this by February... to start worrying about me.

So, the days went on. Ruari wouldn't nurse... I was pumping for her nonstop so we could bottle feed her my breast milk... I'm dealing with building back up my blood supply from what I had lost... barely able to hold Ruari because my surgery pain was so bad... needing Mike to be in the bathroom while I showered to make sure I didn't pass out... not getting enough sleep because I had a newborn... I was emotionally turning into a hot mess.

One of my BIGGEST stresses was the fact that Ruari never breastfed. I'd say maybe she latched on and fed a total of 10 times? Maybe... never enough to fill her. I had PLENTY of milk... enough for everyone! ;) But, she just wasn't having it. I felt like I would be a bad mom if I didn't feed her breastmilk... so, I kept trying to get her to breast feed. I continued to try for 3 months. Nothing. She didn't want to breastfeed. That was it. Those first 3 months of me trying to get her to breast feed were terribly stressful. I wanted her to do it so badly... and, I was told she would... and to not give up! I cried so much from her never feeding directly from me. I had already lost my chance to ever have a natural birth... now I'd lose my chance to ever feel the connection through breastfeeding? If you're wondering... she NEVER ended up breastfeeding from me and I pumped for her for a whole year.

I felt like I was going through all of this alone. My friends and family all worked days (my sister lives in New Zealand) and I was at home... totally sleep deprived... dealing with my emotions... and a crying baby that only wanted to be held... for hours alone.... every day. I was beginning to feel smothered and I started to not like my baby. I HATED every time I thought about not liking her. I started to hate myself for hating my situation. It's hard to explain how I felt... but, everything just felt so heavy. I started to regret ever having a baby... If I had never had a baby I wouldn't have almost lost my life... I wouldn't be this exhausted and hating myself.... life would be better. That's what I thought. 

Mike was REALLY starting to worry about me now. He finally decided that it was time to do something. He stopped listening to me saying, "Oh, I'm fine... I'm just tired." It wasn't true anyway. I wasn't fine... I just wanted to BE fine. I was not. So, he found a postpartum therapist for me... scheduled me an appointment... got my sister (who was home for a couple months from New Zealand) to watch my baby... and made sure I went. I did. I pretty much sat down on the therapist's sofa and started crying before she even opened her mouth. I was a mess. A complete mess. 

My therapists ended up prescribing me some depression meds. I was VERY weary of actually taking them. While I knew I needed them, I didn't want any drugs to get into the breastmilk I was feeding Ruari... and, I didn't want to give her formula (so silly, I know). I actually held onto my prescription for a couple of weeks before I actually did anything with it. What really helped me in the direction to start was my friend Kelsey. She asked me what I thought was better: being totally depressed and not connecting with my baby because I was afraid to get drugs in her system... or... to take these drugs to help me out of what I was going through so I could be a happy mama for my child. That was it. I started taking them. I know for a fact I would not have been able to get out of my fog without these meds. I am not a 'medicate for everything' kind of girl... but, this was necessary.

After about a week of medicating... I started to feel better. I was coming out of the fog... things that normally sent me into tears were no longer doing that. I was feeling better. I started to enjoy my baby instead of dread the time I spent with her. I started up my Paper Mama blog and found this amazing world of supportive blogging mama's and daddy's that had gone through... or were going through what I had been.

The reason why I decided to FINALLY talk about my depression: because I'm hoping there's some new mama out there I can help. A new mama that is going through the same thing I was and is in need of a little love and support. The best thing I learned was that I'm not alone. I'm not the only one getting no sleep and feeling so depressed. It's a rough patch that pretty much every mom goes through (some more than others) and to not be scared to reach out and ask a friend, family member, or even online blogging friend for advice or even just to listen to your story. It's important to talk about what you're feeling. Holding it in only makes it harder to deal with. Especially if you have any thoughts of hurting your baby. While I never had these thoughts, I know it can be common for postpartum mom's to think this. Don't hold it in. Tell someone and ask for some help.

I just wanted to point out that I'm not telling everyone to go out and get some depression drugs... they just helped me. I'm still currently taking them... but, I'm weaning off of them and am just about done! I will probably be done with them by the end of August. Yay! They were important for me... but, I'm ready to get off of them. :)

I still have my bad days... when I don't get enough sleep or when Ruari is melting down every 5 minutes. BUT, it's nothing like it was before! I'm happy. That's huge. 

So, if you made it through the longest post ever.. thanks! I hope this helps someone out there. Thanks for ALL of your support! All of you. :)

♡ Chelsey

Warby Parker's.

So... I have had the same glasses for about... 5 years now? Which is fine... I still like them. BUT, I'm a wee bit bored. I discovered Warby Parker one Sunday morning and instantly fell in love! It's a very young business... but, an awesome one! $95 for every pair of frames! Amazing. AND, in addition to the low cost... Warby Parker donates a pair of glasses for each pair you buy (sort of like TOMS).

Another neat thing.... they have a 5 for 5 program! Yes, they will send you 5 pairs of glasses for 5 days for FREE! They encourage you to try them on... take some photos... and ask your friends what they think! So, that's what I'm doing. Right here. Right now.

Which do you like best? Out of the 5 my favorites are Roosevelt, Miles and Owen. Webb was too tight.... while Thatcher just seemed WAY too big for me. What do you guys think? These 5 have been sent back to their Warby Parker home... and, I may just order another 5, including the 3 I like, with 2 different styles. Hmmmm....

And, if you all get a moment.... 

I'd LOVE a vote! :D

♡ Chelsey

Wordless{ish} Wednesday: Helloooooo new tattoooo.

{linked to black and white wednesday}

{There she is. My sweet new tattoo. I've had the flowers on my shoulder for about three years now... and, have been scheming out my newest addition ever since then! I wanted it to sort of be a continuation of the shoulder tat. There's a honey bee by my wrist... she represents Ruari for me... AND, I also added two bees on the front and back of my shoulder... these represent Mike and I.}

{I had planned to add more branches/touch up my original tat, but because of the surprise Angus butt surgery costs... I thought it was best to scale it down. :) Maybe this fall I can add more? :) And, I wont be filling it in. It's done with grey ink and she just did some shading. Exactly how I wanted it. It will fade more and look as light as my shoulder in... I don't know... 3 years? :D}

{Let's talk about my amazing tattoo artists... Traci Manley from New Rose Tattoo in Portland, OR. She did the original... and then she did my addition. She's so talented. Please check out her website and visit her portfolio. She's awesome. AND... hey! If you're in Portland and need a tat... why not schedule one real quick at New Rose Tattoo? Great idea!}

{via}

{And, if you all get a moment.... 

I'd LOVE a vote! :D}

{If you have a Wordless{ish} Wednesday, please feel free to link it up below. BY the way: Shawntae from A Little King and I now share our Wednesday Linky's. :D. And, feel free to link up to these blogs too... 5 Minutes For Mom, Parenting by Dummies, Project Alicia, Supermom, And Then She Snapped, and Live and Love Outloud.}

{Hey! Don't forget to check out my sponsor me button below! Yeah! Lots of great advertising deals!}

♡ Chelsey

60 Day Shred. Whoa. Yup.

Yeeeeaaaaaaah... I've been doing the 30 Day Shred for 60 days now! While it's been amazing in helping me get back in shape... I'm so bored of it (and starting to get very annoyed with Jillian ;D). So... time to start something new. I've started slacking in the working out department... the last 2 weeks I've only worked out 4 days of the week.

I don't know what... but, I need something new. It needs to be:

- 20 minutes a day... <---- I know... but, I just wont do it otherwise. :D

- I need it on DVD or Netflix. I have to have someone yelling at me to keep working out. :)

- Not too much jumping. My poor old knees can't handle it. I've had to adjust each Jillian workout.

So... I just need to find the perfect workout. Any suggestions? I'm thinking I may mix up my days a bit. A pilates DVD one day... a cardio the next... and them maybe some crazy ab workout? I'm not done getting in shape. Jess from IROCKSOWHAT mentioned this Insanity workout... I think I'll mix that in somewhere... probably not EVERYDAY... but, mixed into my crazy workout plan. :)

Ok... here are my before photos from 60ish days ago... There are differences in my belly for sure... But, mostly I think I just look healthier (I feel healthier. :D):

So... I don't notice too much of a change in my face from day 30 to day 60...

So, I took some measurements (meh, didn't like doing that) on May 2nd, 2011. AND, again on June 28th, 2011. Here's what I've lost:
- Bust: Same. Hee.
- Hips: -2"
- Belly: -2.5"
- Waist: - 1.5"
- Arm: +1" (all those muscles. ;D)
- Calf: -.25
- Weight: -7lbs

I'm happy with how far I've come... but, I still have more to go. :) I have a pair of pants that I fit into last summer that I want to fit in again! They didn't even go up over my bum before I started working out. BUT, I can now pull them up and button them.... they are super tight though. I'm hoping in a month to fit in them again! :D

I'm linking up here:

Can my super awesome living healthy success get a vote for my blog? :D Thanks!

♡ Chelsey