American Me... Queer Eye for the Prison Guy

American Me: 3 out of 10: In all fairness I have to admit I was expecting more of a gang picture (albeit a serious one) with Mexican overtones rather than a straightforward prison drama.



American Me is a straightforward prison drama.



Nobody in this film emotes; and pass the K-Y jelly because there is more guy on guy action in this movie than in the men's room at a Sex in the City wrap party. Add in the bathroom/drug smuggling scenes and you may be squirming in your seat for more reasons than a slow pace.



In addition, many older actors can play characters in their twenties. Even those that have obvious hairline issues (see the later Porky's movies) seem to pull it off. Edward James Olmos is one man who should never even try. He looks like he was born fifty. He also plays the lead with the charisma of a sullen rock.



In addition to the miscasting and sodomy, American Me suffers from serious script issues. It simply takes at face value the characters contention that they are king of the world. They are not. It is one thing for the characters themselves to be misguided (as they are most certainly are) but the movie itself seems not to realize what big losers these guys are. Sure, they are king of the cellblock. Hurrah, that is like being voted carnie of the month.



A good first 45 minutes or so quickly melts into under acted pathos (Nobody emotes in this movie, cause they are all tough guys see.) and misguided plot twists (the whole taking on the mob bit was horribly done). The movie just keeps getting worse and worse.



Oh and Olmos's character writes poetry; bad rhyming poetry. Yup poetry and anal sex, American Me is one makeover away from its own Bravo series.



And here are parts of the movie for those prison drama /Sex in The City fans (warning may contain objectionable material and seriously bad dialogue)

































Please click here for the index of Movie Reviews and Actress Profiles



.

Basic Instinct 2... Instinct says run

Basic Instinct 2: 4 out of 10: I understand the urge of some to declare this a guilty pleasure. After all, the entire movie is fascinatingly ridiculous. Sharon Stone's character from the first film has turned into a tour de force caricature. Yes she is too old to play the role, but as written I cannot think of any other actor who could play it either.





The idea that any of the characters would find her so appealing that they would jettison any shred of common sense out of the window is…well… nuts. It is not so much the physical that is unappealing as it is the mental. Her character screams, look at me I am psychotic.





Now certainly some of us have been guilty of being seduced by a patently psychotic middle-aged nymphomaniac, but alcohol and late hours not to mention a dimly lit bar are usually involved. To be seduced by such a creature in the sober light of day is pure science fiction.





Indeed every character in the movie seems inexplicably smitten in one way or the other by Stone. I can buy one disturbed and naive character, such as the baby faced psychiatrist going nuts over her, but his ex-wife and her lover as well?





The movie has other faults as well. There really is not all that much sex and it does drag at times. In addition, while beautifully shot, there is a lack of cohesive story and the supposed twists are more yawn inducing than shocking.





Certainly, the film is worth a look just for Stone's over the top performance but don't be surprised if you check your watch while shaking your head in disbelief.











Flora Montgomery engaging in quite a good sex scene in Basic Instinct 2


Opening credits with Sharon Stone driving fast after she apparently lost something between her legs.



Sharon Stone tries to seduce her shrink with a see through white shirt and some really bad line reading.



Sharon Stone talks dirty while straddling a chair. It's kind of sad a few dozen years ago she would have been crossing and uncrossing her legs while Seinfeld's Newman sweated. Now the effect is more that of Estelle Getty cursing.



Sharon Stone at a biker orgy. You know with that music and camera work this would been a perfect time for vampires to show up. If any movie could have used a surprise vampire attack it was Basic Instinct 2. Heck I think it would have made more sense overall.



Can you do autoerotic asphyxiation with two people? (BTW helpful hint it is asphyxiation not affixation even though the later has 15,000 illiterate hits on Google search.



Sharon Stone topless in the hot tub... and know it is not just you. Her breasts do look like they belong to two different people.



Now Imagine you just spent the families milk money on an uncut version of Basic Instinct 2 because you heard that Sharon Stones super hot sex scene was cut because it caused the censors to attack passersby in the street after viewing they were so consumed with lust. Well this is the scene... some PG-13 through the shirt nipple action and endless blah blah blah by Stone.


Please click here for the index of Movie Reviews and Actress Profiles



For full size representation click twice on images below (Takes you off site so use back button to return to Naughty Bits)

Angels in America... Angel's in the "Out" Field

Angels in America: 6 out of 10: The play Angels in America must have had a much greater impact in the nineties then the miniseries has today. It also probably worked better as a play. That said; this is one of the more creative adaptations of theater one is likely to see on the small screen.



Mike Nichols deserves great praise for making the stage bound fly. He over reaches occasionally but the effect is memorizing. Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, and Justin Kirk all shine. While the brilliant Jeffery Wright simply steals every scene he is in. Mary Louise Parker and relative newcomer Patrick Wilson are unfortunately saddled with a disposable story that does not really fit in with the rest of the play. In fact, poor Mr. Wilson simply disappears for the last third or so of the miniseries while his characters mother played by Meryl Streep takes center stage.



Pacino's Roy Cohn is hammy and not played as evil as he was in the original play. While Cohn has been more forgotten than redeemed since the play first came out; his nemesis Ethel Rosenberg’s (Streep again) reputation has suffered greatly since the mid-nineties. While Pacino is very good, Streep is simply brilliant in the very well written role of a Mormon mother lost in New York. Her character simply surprises both the other characters and the audience by not sticking to our preconceived notions.



Two actors however do drop the ball. Emma Thompson simply does not make a good angel. She is not helped by the fact that the angel moves around like Peter Pan in a junior high school production. As a result many of the angel scenes simply do not work.



The other problematic performance is Ben Shenkman as Louis. One quickly has sympathy for every character that suffers with an encounter with Shenkman. Unfortunately the audience suffers the most screen time with this horrible persona. The character is simply evil. That self centered, banal evil one finds in real life. This is of course fine in a film, but Shenkman the actor doesn't seem to realize how repellent his character’s actions are. Instead of developing the evil he simply pulls out Jewish stereotypes. Compare this to Pacino's entertaining vision of evil in the persona of Mr. Cohn.



Creative and surprisingly fun Angels in America does run a little long (as a miniseries is wont to do) but is worth a look







Mary Louise Parker tests Patrick Wilson's sexuality in Angels in America

Please click here for the index of Movie Reviews and Actress Profiles



For full size representation click twice on images below (Takes you off site so use back button to return to Naughty Bits)

Amadeus... Rock me Salieri

Amadeus: 7 out of 10: Amadeus is a brilliantly filmed fictional accountof the rivalry between Antonio Salieri (Well-deserved Oscar winner F.Murray Abraham) and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Tom Hulce in a daringperformance).



Thecostumes and settings are spot on, as only great Hollywood historicaldramas can pull off. This is truly one place independent film does nothold a candle to Hollywood. With the exception of Elizabeth Berridgeas Mozart's wife, the supporting cast is excellent; paramount isJeffery Jones who plays Emperor Joseph the second like Martin Sheenplaying a Kennedy.



Theplot line of an old Salieri confessing to a priest how he turned hisback on God after realizing the almighty gave Mozart, not himself; thisdivine talent is a wonderful and emotionally satisfying tool to hangthe plot. Salieri is a wonderful protagonist as it is easy to identifywith the jealousy one feels towards those to whom talent comes so easyand seems almost squandered.



BesidesBerridge's performance, there are a few minor quibbles with the film.The music is very opera heavy and not terrible representative ofMozart's work. It is a bit like doing a biopic of Beethoven and leavingout his fifth and ninth symphonies.



Themovie is also bit long and drags a bit in the middle. One scenelampshades this; during the performance of The Marriage of Figaro theEmperor yawns and Salieri goes into great detail how the number ofyawns affects how long the opera will run. Considering Amadeus runs 2hours 40 minutes, it saying something that Amadeus only rated one yawnfrom me.






Clips from movie








Please click here for the index of Movie Reviews and Actress Profiles



For full size representation click twice on images below (Takes you off site so use back button to return to Naughty Bits)

The Acid House.... Instant Review: Great, Brilliant, Oh God make it stop.

The Acid House: 8 out of 10: A collection of three films strung together with wildly different results.

The first film (The Granton Star Cause 8/10) is a pleasant surprise and high comedy. It is a take on Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis mixed with God, elderly S and M, and a football team. Outrageous and funny, it is great black comedy revolving around a bloke named Boab. And as God lovingly points out to Boab, it is his own lazy incompetence that is basically responsible for his troubles.



The second film (The Soft Touch 10/10) is a top-notch drama that, for me at least, hit close to home. Kevin McKidd portrays a get along cuckolded husband with perfection while Gary McCormick, as Larry, is stunning as the upstairs neighbor. American audiences are not used to seeing their protagonists pushed this far without pushing back; but to this ear it rang realistic and very sadly true.

The third film (The Acid House 2/10) is an overlong train wreck that may have worked on paper but fails miserably in film. It includes such Trainspotting regulars as that horrible mechanical baby (Like a demented Chucky) and brainless Coco who amuses for about five minutes before becoming tiresome. Add horrendous dialog, endless poop jokes and an acid trip left over from a Peter Fonda film and you have one great mess. As a five-minute bit it could have worked but time seems to stand still while it drags its bloated carcass on the screen.

God (who appears in all three segments wonderfully played by Maurice Roeves) may seem vengeful in the first film and carelessly sadistic in the second, but this viewer was praying to him during the third segment to make the pain go away.

Here is the trailer




And a movie clip from The Acid House (The Soft Touch)








Jenny McCrindle Topless and smoking (both literally and figuratively) in the Acid House



Please click here for the index of Movie Reviews and Actress Profiles



.